Luca Raymond Birth Story

Jan 7

The Landscape

Luca was born after a full day of radiant sun. When I was pregnant, I would see myself giving birth in my bathtub, in the dark, and with just candlelight, but the day leading up to his birth was absolutely beautiful. A few days before he was born, the weather was predicted to be a full day of sun on Thursday, December 7th. I thought to myself that this may be the day Luca arrives. Luca translates to “bringer of light”, and I felt that he would, of course, arrive with the light after many days of clouds and bleak, late autumn weather.

Luca is my 3rd child and, as with all my children, I gave birth to them at home. With my first, I had a home birth with a medical midwife. With my second, I had a wild pregnancy and then freebirthed in our camper. For our third, we were blessed to not only have a wild pregnancy and freebirth, but instead of birthing in a camper, we were in the comfort of our beautiful home.

A wild pregnancy is a pregnancy that is experienced without medical intervention where I choose to not interact with any medical professionals or institutions for my entire pregnancy, including midwives. A freebirth is a birth that is outside of the medical system and one where I do not have any medical professionals attending my birth. For Lucas birth, I had my husband home and a friend come over to watch my two daughters.

The news of this pregnancy happened a week after moving into our new home in the beginning of March 2023. I took a pregnancy test, and it confirmed what I already knew. My period was just a couple days late, but because I have a very regular cycle and already had a feeling that I may have conceived when I was ovulating, it came to no surprise when I saw two lines on the pregnancy test. We conceived Luca the last week we were living in our camper. I smile with the thought that he somehow knew that we were moving and there would be plenty of space for him to join our family.

I have now had 3 pregnancies within 4 and ½ years! The journey through 3 pregnancies, becoming a mother and a new woman with each birth has been intense, beautiful, challenging, humbling and spiritually activating. I have never experienced a greater initiation in life than the initiation into motherhood. Motherhood transcends through all facets of my life. I have learned more about myself, my purpose and my relationship to God through becoming a mother than any other experience in my life.

I have experienced this immense growth and healing in motherhood through joy and ease, but also through adversity and challenges. One of my challenges in motherhood is the postpartum period. For me, pregnancy and birth are easeful, but my previous post-partum periods have left me completely decimated and at times, hollow.

Therefore, when I found out I was pregnant, I knew there was a lot of healing I wanted to embark on to heal any traumatic experiences I had during my previous births and postpartum periods. I was devoted to liberating myself from any stress, worry or disempowerment etched in my mind, body and soul. I knew that part of my healing was to ask for help. Going into this 3rd pregnancy I had finally come into greater understanding of what support I actually desired and needed and set out to create the right environment for my birth and postpartum experience.

The circumstances surrounding my previous birth were extremely stressful. In early 2021 I was newly pregnant with my 2nd daughter. We had just moved away from all of our family on the east coast and to Indiana. We were living in off-grid cabins with our 1 year old daughter. Later that year, given the poor conditions of the cabins, we bought a camper so that I had a more ideal place to give birth. At that time, the land we were living on was where RJ worked and it became extremely unhealthy/toxic. Once the baby was born, we knew we wanted to leave that land, so 3 weeks postpartum, we moved our camper to a friend’s property about an hour north in Indiana.

We were deep in survival mode at this time. I felt alone and did not have the support that is truly required after giving birth. Although RJ did his best to support me, the newborn and our 18 month old daughter, any father also needs a community to support him so he can support the family. He did not have that support either, since we had just moved that year.

The sleepless nights, lack of community, living in a camper and figuring out our place in Indiana created a very stressful postpartum period. I did not give myself the space to rest, my hormones were imbalanced, and I experienced postpartum rage and depression for months.

So, although I did birth outside of the system and had a powerful wild pregnancy and freebirth, it was still not ideal and I was determined to not only have a wild pregnancy and freebirth with my 3rd, but to have a beautiful, healing, loving and nurturing postpartum experience.

I received monthly healing sessions with a friend to liberate myself from any trauma stored in my body, soul or ancestral lineage so that I could experience a pregnancy, birth and postpartum that was free from fear, resistance, or limiting beliefs. I trusted myself, my relationship with God and my ascended master guides. I practiced yoga, spent time in nature and nourished myself with good food. I received an abundance of summer sun and slept when I needed to.

I faced my fears, doubts and worries about the birth and always returned back to the baseline of “I trust.” I set up the support I needed for birth and postpartum. My friend, Shania, was prepared to come and watch my daughters when I went into labor and my husband was able to take 2 and half weeks off from work after the baby was born so that I could truly rest and heal afterwards.

My Path of Wild Pregnancy:

After my first home birth with a medical midwife in 2020, I knew that I wanted to experience a home birth that was completely unhindered. I did not know what freebirth was or that it was even possible to birth at home with no medical professional until I saw a mutual friend talk about her experience online in 2020. As soon as I heard her story of birthing at home with just her and her partner, I knew that that was what I truly desired.

When I became pregnant with my 2nd daughter at the end of 2020 (I was just 11 months postpartum with my 1st), I was nervous that my freebirth would be happening much sooner than I anticipated, but I was also ready and excited to reclaim sovereign birth.

I never wanted to birth in a hospital because of the environment and the medical providers. It did not and still does not make any logical sense, to me, to go to the hospital when I am healthy. Pregnancy and birth are deeply innate, natural and safe. Pregnancy and birth do not need to be fixed. I also do not trust the medical system, its birth protocols and the indoctrinated fear around birth. Medical “birth professionals” do not actually know what unhindered physiological birth looks like because their training of birth is to disrupt and intervene based on fear and convenience.

Physiological birth requires deep trust, in every level of one’s being. Physiological birth is not about “doing” something so birth happens correctly. It is about absolute surrender into the wisdom of your body, baby and The Divine/God/Spirit/Source/etc. When women choose to step out of their own way and into the innate, ancient wisdom of birth within their DNA and Soul, birth just happens. Birth is not a problem to fix, it is something to surrender into.

During my 1st birth, when I had a midwife I received many of the medical interventions that one would receive in the hospital with an OBGYN because medical midwives are a part of the system, but they just bring the medical paradigm to one’s home. There was always an undercurrent of fear in my 1st pregnancy. I felt that there could be something wrong at any moment depending on the measurements of my blood pressure, weight, fundal height, babies heart beat, etc. Then when I finally reached 40 weeks there was so much pressure to get the baby out before 42 weeks. If I did not, I would have to give birth in the hospital because my midwife was not legally able to attend a birth after 42 weeks since I would have been considered “high risk.”

I then chose to take castor oil, with the recommendation from my midwife, in hopes of inducing labor so that my baby “could” be born at home. I was 41 and ½ weeks pregnant and was already severely sick from high stress. About 9 hours after taking the castor oil I went into an intense 6 hour labor. I thought, at that time, that I was so lucky to be able to birth at home. But I have come to realize how much I had given my power over to the midwives and did not take full responsibility for myself, my baby and my birth.

My daughters head emerged without any active pushing while I was in the birth pool and the midwives were in another room at that time. In that moment a light bulb went off and I realized, I can do this myself. I don’t need anyone to birth my baby.

Freebirthing our second child was beautiful, but very intense because my husband and I didn’t realize just how much energy it would require to manage everything after the baby came out. After I gave birth to Nala, we had our 18 month old daughter running around, I was exhausted from an intense 8 hour labor, the baby needed to be cleaned, the camper was covered with blood, and my husband was trying to take care of it all. So, although I had the freebirth I desired, the afterbirth and postpartum experience was challenging.

Going into this 3rd wild pregnancy, I knew my main focus was to prepare for the birth and the postpartum period. Naturally, I never went to go to the doctors, at any point during my pregnancy. I simply checked in with my baby and always felt that he was just perfect. I listened to my body to determine what foods I needed to fully nourish myself and how much rest I needed.

There really isn’t too much to say about this 3rd pregnancy because it was quite simple. It was pretty much an experience of living my normal life, except with some lower back, hip discomfort and a gradually growing belly.

We felt, from very early on, that we were going to have a boy. With my 1st, I knew she was a girl and we had a name picked out a few days after finding out I was pregnant. With my 2nd we at first thought we were having a boy but the closer we got towards the end of the pregnancy, we felt we would have a girl.

We could never decide on a boys name with our first two and then on this last pregnancy, my husband suggested the name Luca and I just fell in love. The name felt perfect for the beautiful baby in my womb.

I went into labor, with my second, at 42 weeks and 5 days so I was prepared for a “long” pregnancy since my babies seem to like hanging out in my womb for a while. After listening to many podcasts from the Freebirth Society and joining a community of freebirth mothers, I witnessed that it is quite common for mothers to birth after 42 weeks. A pregnancy after 42 weeks does not immediately constitute risk to the baby or mother.

I trust my baby and body and so I knew that the baby would come at the right time. Inducing labor is done out of fear and impatience and so when I faced any fears and remained patient, then there was no reason to worry about when I gave birth. My patience was tested more with my second because I had never “spontaneously” gone into labor at that point since I induced labor with castor oil for my 1st. After experiencing my freebirth with my 2nd child, I was a lot more patient in waiting for my 3rd baby. When he did decide to arrive, it was exactly at 42 weeks and 5 days.

My Freebirth with Luca

Every birth is so different. It is as unique as the children that come through. But even with conceptualizing this truth, I still find myself comparing each birth experience to the previous one. For example, I kept waiting for my mucus plug to come out since it came out a week before I gave birth to my second child. My mucus plug for this 3rd pregnancy came out when I reached 42 weeks and 5 days and I thought, “hmm, could still be days or weeks till the baby arrives.” Little did I know at that time, the baby was going to come that day!

On the morning of Thursday, December 7th I was feeling deep, yet subtle cramping that felt very much like period cramps. The sensations were low in the womb and did not create the hardening of my entire stomach like contractions typically create. I had been feeling cramping like this, on and off, for about 2 weeks.

RJ had gone to work and I had, at this point, finally relaxed into taking time off of my own work. I was spending the day at home, like I usually do, hanging out with my girls and enjoying the sun pouring into our south facing house.

Around 12:30 in the afternoon the light cramping shifted into noticeable contractions. They weren’t painful, but were definitely powerful. Every time I walked around the house, they intensified in strength. When I would sit, they would slow down or “turn down” in intensity.

Since RJ was at work, I wanted to slow down the sensations until he got home in case I was going into labor. I put my youngest daughter to nap because I wanted to get her settled so that I could sit down for a while. A part of me still believed that the contractions might just go away.

I went to the bathroom in the afternoon and my mucus plug came out. It was the first real sign of my cervix opening and I just felt so ecstatic! I messaged my sister and my mom since we were already messaging in a group text. We playfully mentioned that maybe the baby will be here by the weekend!

Around 1:30 pm, I was sitting in the sunroom with my oldest daughter (3 years old) and we were watching a show together while my youngest napped. We were enjoying the sun pouring in through the window and the simple joy of watching something together. I was moving my waist and hips often to move with the flow of sensations. I wasn’t checking in to see how close they were coming or for how long, I just focused on keeping my energy low until RJ got home.

After 3 pm, both my girls were now outside playing and so I sat outside with them and enjoyed the warm sun on my face. The contractions were definitely picking up in intensity, but I knew RJ would be home soon. It was such a magical afternoon of so much joy, sunshine and peace.

RJ arrived home around 3:45 pm and once I saw him, I felt like I could “turn off” from being responsible for the girls and instead tune in to my body. The “turning off” of responsibility and support from RJ’s presence instantly sent me into much more powerful and intense contractions. I went into the bedroom to breathe and be on my bed. At this time, a part of me believed that it was all going to stop and the baby wasn’t really coming.

I was trying to find a comfortable position and figure out what clothes to wear while I was in labor. My waters had started leaking and I thought that it could still be hours until the baby arrives. Since we have carpet all over the house, I tried putting period underwear on and a dress, but the contractions started coming much faster and much more intense. I ended up just stripping everything off and by 4:30 pm, something finally “clicked” and I accepted that I was truly in labor.

RJ called our friend to come over to watch the girls. The bedroom door was closed because I did not want to be around my girls while I was laboring. Once in the peace and quiet, I just dove into the experience.

I spent some time in the shower and that really helped me move through the waves. I got out of the shower because I thought that I still had a long labor ahead and should save the shower for when I really needed it. But I was so wrong, because the minute I got out of the shower, labor intensified. I spent a lot of time going back and forth between sitting on the toilet and kneeling over the bed.

At this point I asked RJ to get the bathtub ready. Labor intensified so quick that within an hour I could hardly speak and was just crushed by the intensity of the contractions. I went in the bathtub and I was able to relax a bit more into the experience and there was finally some space in between each contraction where I could rest.

I am typically very vocal during my labors, but with each contraction I felt a deeper wave of peace by shifting into breath and focusing inward. Around 6:15 pm I was already feeling the sensation of bearing down. This completely shifted my experience, because instead of just focusing on the contractions, I could focus on my baby’s head engaging and moving through me. I dove deep into the sensations and the whole experience went from overwhelming to manageable. It felt wonderful to focus on the pressure of my baby.

At some point, I became very hot in the tub and I asked RJ to help me out. I went on the toilet and felt the urge to push, or rather, I felt my body pushing my baby. I could not believe that we were already at this point of the labor. My mind still believed I could be laboring for hours and yet my body was ready to push my baby through.

I fell to my knees and my waters gushed open. I felt like the baby was going to be coming very soon. I managed to get back into the tub with the help of RJ. With each contraction my body was putting every ounce of energy into carrying my baby through the womb portal. I reached down and could feel my baby’s head. I looked at RJ and told him, with so much joy, that I am so excited to finally meet our baby.

His head came through after the next contraction and then I waited for the next contraction for the body to come out. After his body came out, I caught him in the water and brought him up. He instantly started crying and I unwrapped the cord from around his body. I was so ecstatic to see that we had a perfect little boy born at 6:42 PM.

I brought him to my chest to latch and then RJ put a towel over him. He went and got the girls, and they all came in the bathroom for a few minutes to meet their new brother! It was so magical with the soft candlelight and the peace of our family around.

I wanted to get out of the tub and into the bed, so RJ helped me get settled with the baby. We cut the cord about an hour and a half after the birth. The placenta took a couple hours to come out. I eventually sat on the toilet, gave one good push, and the placenta arrived.

I was afraid of bleeding a lot or feeling faint because that is what I experienced with my previous birth, but I felt so wonderful after this birth and there was significantly less bleeding as well. We spent that whole first night, skin-to-skin, holding our sweet baby. It was so wonderful having the support of my friend Shania so that I could just rest, RJ could support me and the girls were taken care of.

Reclamation of Postpartum

Most of my pregnancy, I focused on preparing to have support for my postpartum period. I was going to have a friend come and stay at the house for a week or two, but since the baby came later in December, I realized it would easier to just have RJ take two weeks off from work and then he would also have time off because of the Holidays. So, it timed out that RJ was around for 2 and ½ weeks straight while I was able to rest in bed. He prepared the meals and took care of the girls. We also had so many wonderful friends in our community make us meals that first week postpartum!

I have never rested in bed for this length of time or received this much support after my other two previous births. I am now 4 weeks postpartum, as I write this, and I see a massive difference in how I feel and how I have healed from just having this level of support. With my previous births I felt some level of postpartum depression, I bled for close to 6 weeks and I did not experience a lot of joy and deep, deep connection with my babies during the newborn phase. I didn’t even realize this until now because my experience with Luca has been so different.

Not only did I have a beautiful, peaceful, homebirth, but because I gave myself permission to rest and asked for the help I needed, I was able to heal so much quicker and I did not have the stress of trying to take care of the kids, move or get back to work.

Over the last 4 and ½ years my husband and I, through deep trust in God and in each other, have co-created a life of absolute joy and magic. Creating a life that is in highest alignment for our children has led us to down a beautiful path of self-healing, humility, maturity, commitment to each other and integrity in our values. Children truly bring with them so many blessings. We are so grateful for our 3 beautiful children and the life we have all co-created together with Divine Will.