Nala Rose Birth Story

Nala Rose ~ September 16th 2021 at 12:12 PM

I became pregnant with Nala in December of 2020. I was very shocked at the time and couldn’t believe that I had just birthed Lila, my first daughter, in January 2020! Lila was just barely 1 years old at the time and very much a baby. She was just starting to walk with the support of walls and chairs. I thought to myself, “how am I going to handle having two babies?” Of course, now, these thoughts are irrelevant because Lila is 20 months old and is a full-blown toddler!

After our last birth with Lila, we knew we wanted to do a free/unassisted/unhindered birth for our next child. I will just be using the term unhindered birth, but they all intend for the same experience which is to birth outside of the medical system and without a licensed birth attendant. I wouldn’t say my birth with Nala was completely “unassisted” because I did have RJ there with me, but we chose to not have a midwife, doula or care of a doctor for the entire pregnancy and birth experience.

I did not enjoy all the monitoring and fear-based pressures of the medical system during my first pregnancy. Our midwife, for our first birth, was amazing, but she still needed to follow certain rules to keep her midwifery license. I felt a constant anxiety during my pregnancy with Lila that something was going to go wrong, because pregnancy is seen as a medical condition or problem that we must fix and make right. This time, I did not want to get weighed, measured or monitored. I did not want my child to be scanned and poked and prodded. I did not want the pressure of a “due date” and the inevitable conversation of induction if the baby “did not come out in time.” I wanted to fully trust in my health, in my body, in Divine Mother, in the power of my womb and the innate wisdom of birth that runs through all the women who have come before me. 

For me, my unhindered birth, was a declaration of my body’s innate intelligence. I learned so much about what it truly means to trust and surrender. I know so many people around me questioned whether I was doing the “right” thing and I could see the fear in their eyes and body when I briefly mentioned my intentions. They would always say, “well, what if something goes wrong?”

And that is the root of all fear, isn’t it? What if something goes wrong? What is that major fear that we are addressing? It’s death. Death of the baby or mother and the guilt of, what if I could have done something to prevent this? But I can’t live my life in prevention mode. That would be so tiring. There is risk of death everywhere. Unfortunately, the women in our society have allowed themselves to believe that their bodies are inadequate to birth their child and that we have to trust in a medical system to “safely” birth our child.

This medical system is fairly new. I will not get into the history and details of the medical system and how it works against women’s innate bodily intelligence in this story. But what I do want to mention is that we, women, have been birthing since humans descended on this earth. It is not dangerous to birth our children. It is completely safe. YES, things do go wrong, and medical assistance is sometimes needed. That is when the medical system should be used. But when birth is truly left unhindered, Spirit and Nature come to together to bring the miracle of life through the portal of the body in a way that is natural and safe because, again, it is an innate expression of the female body to birth life through the womb.

It was so wonderful not having to worry about doctors’ appointments, lab work, measurement’s, ultra-sounds, etc. Of course, you can refuse anything a doctor or midwife suggests, but I didn’t want any of it it, so there wasn’t much a midwife or doctor could have done for me, anyways. I loved listening to my body and the baby and trusting that all I needed to focus on was my health and check in with the beautiful kicks from the child. I did not run into any issues during the pregnancy. I had some swelling of my feet and hands and just general body discomfort/pain at times.I focused on drinking a lot of water, eating nourishing whole foods, doing what I love, addressing my fears, grounding myself, tending to my heart, and keeping a strong, open channel to Great Spirit.

I was roughly 42 and ½ weeks pregnant by the time Nala decided she was going to enter into the world. It was a Thursday morning and my water broke around 4:15 AM. A week prior my mucus plug had come out and I thought, “yay! This is it” but she decided to stay in a little bit longer. Either way, it was a sign that my body was opening and confirmation that the slight and irregular contractions I had been experiencing the past week were working to open me up.

After my water broke, I woke RJ up and told him the news. We were both very excited that labor had finally began. We made some tea and put the electric wood stove on because it was quite cool in the camper. We both kind of expected labor to be very quick since it was a quick labor with Lila, but this did not end up being the case. Since we couldn’t sleep, because we were so excited, we laid in bed talking and buzzing with the expectation of meeting our second child. Contractions at that point were coming 15 minutes apart and were not too intense, but they were definitely much stronger than I had experienced in the previous weeks so I knew it was leading to the birth of our child.

Eventually 7 AM came around and it was time to wake up our daughter Lila who, at the time, was 20 months old. RJ took care of Lila and our usual morning routine while I just breathed through the waves of contractions. We had prepared by buying a birth tub, but I was not interested in birthing this baby in the tub. For one, the camper is very small and it would be almost impossible to get into the fridge. Two, I did not want to have to deal with cleaning it up after the baby was born and three, I wanted to see what it was like to experience a birth outside of water.

The beginning of labor was quite euphoric and intense. It was a beautiful day and I was just moving about the camper, finding places that were most comfortable to move through the waves. We have a little electric fire place area and above it, toward the ceiling, there are to cabinets and the handles are parallel with the ground so I was pulling down on the handles while standing and swaying through the contractions. I was standing through most of the labor. It just felt wonderful to pull and hang on something. Throughout the contractions, I would be praying to Divine Mother and after each one I just felt so ecstatic to meet my baby.

The contractions were not very regular throughout the entire labor. Sometimes they would be a minute apart, other times they would be one on top of the other, and sometimes they slowed to 3-5 minutes apart and so on. Although the intensity was manageable it was the length of labor that really took a toll. It felt like labor was taking SO long. I kept looking at the clock and the hours were going by so fast! I found myself thinking, “I know why they call it labor; this is hard work!” But I was just so ready to receive my baby and kept envisioning her moving through my body and onto my chest.

Eventually, laboring with Lila around became too much and I needed space to relax and focus. RJ was also having a hard time being present with me while taking care of a very high-energy toddler! Luckily, everyone had the day off, here on the farm, and 3 girls joyfully hung out with Lila around 10 or 11 AM

After Lila left, the later part of the morning became much more intense. I think I was able to relax more since RJ could relax and we could focus on birthing this baby. RJ helped keep me hydrated as it started getting much warmer as the day went on. The contractions did not offer the same euphoric feeling anymore. My lower back was aching more than the contractions. With each wave, my entire body would shake. I was moving from standing, kneeling, on the bed, in the shower and on the toilet. I was everywhere and it’s all kind of a blur.

I never felt like I couldn’t do it, but there were moments when my Will would weaken and RJ was right there to say the exact words I needed to hear. When I felt exhausted and tired, he would say “you look great” When I felt doubt creeping in, he would say “trust your body.” He was praying and delivering messages from Great Spirit, Mother Earth and Divine Mother. It was beautiful.

Towards the end, I was in bed with RJ and some more amniotic fluid started coming out and RJ said he could see me opening more, which gave me a lift of energy. I was calling to my baby with love and expected joy. I decided to get in the shower because I was covered in sweat. While in the shower, I felt like reaching inside of me and feeling if I could touch her head. I felt a very jelly like sac and couldn’t figure out what it was. Then I had a big contraction and felt pressure moving down the canal and thought it was my baby coming through, but then the rest of my waters broke and splashed everywhere. I was so happy I was in the shower for that! I was also just so ecstatic because it was such a release of pressure and I knew my baby was going to be arriving very soon.

I then went back out to the main space and kneeled on the ground while laying over the seat of the couch. RJ was right there with me and I had a few intense contractions there and could feel her head pressing down. I had no intention of pushing when I went into labor because I had not needed to with Lila. But my intuition was telling me to push. So, when the next contraction came, I pushed down and felt her moving through me. I was amazed that her head came through with just one push! I felt a ring of fire as her head crowned and thought I must be tearing, but I didn’t care, I just wanted to meet my baby.

RJ and I were ecstatic that her head came through and we were waiting for the next wave to get her body out, but it did not come. She then started crying! She still had her whole body in me and just her head out. We both knew that I just needed to push her out as soon as possible. So, I pushed her body through while RJ made sure to keep her nose and mouth clean. RJ caught our baby and then exclaimed, “it’s a girl!” I was SO happy! He handed me our daughter and I walked right to the shower to help clean myself and the baby off because we were both very messy. She was born at 12:12 PM in the afternoon. By the time she came through, I had been in labor for 8 hours.

First picture, shortly after the birth<3

While in the shower, I just held her close and looked into her eyes as RJ helped to clean us up. He then set up a space in the bed where I could lay down with a lot of pads. I got into bed with the baby and I held her to my breast. She latched right away and was peacefully nursing. In the meantime, RJ went and got Lila from the girls and brought her back since she needed to eat and take her nap.

It actually timed out nicely since RJ and I could tend to the after birth while Lila was in her own space sleeping. After about a half hour the placenta was still in me so I decided to stand up to see if that would help birth the placenta. As soon as I stood up the placenta came out and RJ caught it. I can’t remember exactly what happened next, I may have gone in the shower again and cleaned myself and the baby because she was passing meconium. I was finally able to get shorts and a pad on and get back into bed with a cleaner baby. We put a diaper on her and cut her cord and rested for some time. 

An hour or two later I felt a huge gush of blood come out and told RJ that I needed to stand up and go to the bathroom. As soon as I stood up, blood gushed out and puddled on the floor. I went to the shower as quick as possible and tried to remain calm. I don’t think there was anything really “wrong” it was just a shock to see that much blood. I decided to take some Shepherds Purse Tincture to help with clotting and Lobellia tincture to help with any shock. I cleaned myself off and got back into bed. The bleeding eventually stopped and I was able to feel much better and relaxed with some food and water in my system.

Lila loved seeing her new baby sister. Nala peacefully slept and nursed most of the day on Thursday. RJ and I were in a daze of joy, awe, and excitement! We were so happy to have our daughter in our arms and to have been able to do this whole birth experience at home. RJ was so amazing throughout the entire birth! He cleaned all the messes and did at least 3 loads of laundry. Not everyone’s birth will be so messy, but mine was. He kept me fed and hydrated and gave me the moral and physical support that truly supported the whole birthing process.

Although I had thought I teared while pushing Nala’s head through, I had actually not torn at all! I feel so much more stable and grounded in my root than I had after Lila’s birth. I believe this is because I gave my body the time it needed to open. Those extra weeks & days beyond the “40 week” mark was really the time needed for my body to prepare to bring my baby through. When I birthed Lila, it had been such a forceful and intense experience through using the castor oil and my body wasn’t as ripe for the experience. While birthing Nala, in comparison to Lila, I was a lot more aware of what was happening as Nala transitioned through the birth canal. I was able to more easefully push her head through.

I learned so much about myself and the process of birth throughout this entire experience. I thought I had trusted my body before, but moving through this experience really showed me where I was lacking trust in my body and the process of life. With Lila, I induced labor with castor oil so I wasn’t able to experience labor starting naturally. As I started pushing towards 42 weeks, with Nala, I really needed to lean into deep trust and patience. Trust that my body is wise and that it will begin labor when myself and the baby are ready. I learned a whole new level of patience through letting go of a projected outcome. I also learned that if we decide to have another child, I will not be sharing a due date, but maybe a due month so I do not receive all the anxious anticipation from well-meaning friends and family.  

Lastly, I want to speak about how helpful RJ was during the entire experience. Throughout the pregnancy and birth, he completely trusted me. His trust was unwavering and for this I am so grateful. I knew I wanted to do an unhindered birth for our second child and from the moment we found out I was pregnant, he was right by my side, supporting the decision without any doubt. We enjoyed feeling the babies’ kicks, but besides those little check-ins we just intuitively knew our baby was healthy. Throughout labor he knew exactly what to say and when to say it. When I was losing trust, he would remind me “trust your body.” When I felt defeated and exhausted, he would remind me of how beautiful I am. He was a super hero after the birth with clean up and caring for me, the baby and Lila. It was A LOT for him to do and we both weren’t expecting it, but he showed up fully and was just the best support system I could have ever dreamed of.

This experience helped us grow as individuals and as a couple. It unlocked a whole new level of trust in life and in our relationship. I am so grateful that we were able to share the birth of our second child together, without extra energies and hands. The experience was intense, sacred, beautiful, wild, and joyful and I am so happy to have shared it with RJ, Lila and Nala.

LIla is VERY excited to hold Nala<3

Lila, Nala & RJ

Sweet Nala, a little over a week old<3