Coming HOME into my Sovereign Power
Coming HOME into my Sovereign power: How it is actually attainable and NOT about disconnecting from being human
Let’s back it up and begin with a little story..
The story of reclaiming my power started when I began uncovering my purpose which is to say… who am I? How am I meant to serve? And how can I serve through joy and pleasure? I grew up always feeling like there was something knocking at my heart, my soul, my essence….
“You are meant for more than the visions you hold.” This whisper kept rippling through my body, but how do I dream for that which could not be seen?
Yet life has a way of cracking us open, in heart wrenching, soul stretching ways that open us to new possibilities and yes, limitless expansion.
Through heartache, confusion, uncertainty, doubt, tears, joy, laughter and pleasure I discovered more of who I am and how I am meant to serve.
After high school I was absolutely unequipped with any sense of self and urged (applauded actually) for choosing to go to college for a major that would have put me in wild amounts of debt. Luckily, Spirit literally kicked me out of that situation, so I moved back home and finished college in Massachusetts (for much less money) I completed my bachelors in a major that, to this day, I do nothing with.
Just before entering college though, I discovered something that gave me an authentic spark of pleasure, that was just for me, not something I did to please others. Yoga. But this spark for yoga didn’t turn into a living flame of inspiration, desire and passion until half-way through my bachelors degree.
I can remember those first few months of practicing yoga SO vividly. In my bedroom, watching Tara Stiles 10-minute youtube videos and moving through SO much shit. Wow. I literally started re-wiring my brain and therefore, massively shifting how I saw the world (a lot of psychedelics that summer also helped) But my body was awakening, it was remembering something that I had no understanding of, just yet. I did not realize that my soul was breathing, again. No longer chained by suffocating limitations, sadness, depression, anger and fear. I felt potential and excited possibility. A subtle nudge of expansion.
Yet, I was still completely consumed by the ebb and flow of life. The ups were so high and the lows were rock bottom crashing. I was still trying to fill an ache of emptiness in my heart that would never heal from partying, drugs, or relationships. I can see now the longing for validation, to be seen, to be heard and to be a part of something, just to feel whole. All my power would drain. I would give it all away only to feel disappointed, empty, and still searching.
But yoga was truly a pivotal saving point for me. I was dedicated, for once, to something that brought me into my body. I was led into community with people who believed in love, compassion and joy. I was opened to teachings that unbound my illusions of god, my soul and my purpose.
I released shame, I released guilt and I found my voice.
The many hours of speaking, teaching and sharing, although I don’t teach much yoga anymore, was truly the doorway to uncovering my purpose..uncovering my essence. After receiving my 200 hour training in 2015 I went on to receive my 300 hour training in 2018. This later trip guided me to Peru. Sacred, sacred Peru. I feel my ancestors rejoicing. I felt the land breathing with me. I felt myself unravel so many cultural pressures and self-perpetuated expectations. I saw myself being made new. To say that this training changed my life, radically, is an understatement.
This training was literally the portal that opened me to an irreversible awakening into Self. I didn’t know it then, but this would become my calling, my why, my essence. To guide women back into alignment with their Authentic Self and to release themselves from the chains of limitations to embrace an unshakable faith in their power.
I returned to Peru 4 times within one year with the honor of teaching 200 hour trainings with School Yoga Institute. I remembered my voice, my power, my gifts, my service, my heart, my pleasure, my joy and my sacred YES to this life. I share more about the reclamation of my purpose in this blog HERE which led me to create the Authentic Alignment Program.
I am a healer. I am an intuitive. I am a teacher/guide. I am a ceremonialist. I am a channel for Sophia-Christ Consciousness. I am a multidimensional space holder. I am a holy fire III reiki master. I am a goddess. I am, I am, I am….
far beyond all these labels. Because we are limitless and the uncovering of our purpose will always expand and evolve. Just when you think you are comfortable, Spirit will stretch you… whispering “You are meant for more than the visions you hold.”
Then how do we know who we are and how we are meant to serve if all labels limit our true expression?
Align with joy, pleasure, desire, service and love. Even if the decisions you need to make to honor your heart and purpose are difficult you will move forward because YOU know you are rooted in the truth of who you are.
As a unique spark of God, your beautiful outward expression of purpose will manifest in such a magnificent way. You can know that it is alignment with your Truth when you are beckoned by joy, pleasure, desire, service, love and a soul anchoring feeling of presence. I am. I am. I am. This is me. I am. So far beyond labels. It is an experience of timelessness, of rooted safety to the Divine within you and sense of complete wholeness.
This journey is not finished and never will be done. Life is moving, always and we are meant to expand, always. We are infinite potential. You can’t cap that magic!!! Fuck yes. Yes, I embrace, Yes, I am ready for this.
“Show me, God, what is that I do not see? I align my will with thy will. How may I be of even greater service to myself and all others?”
It took many years for me to realize that aligning my will with Divine will is not about sacrificing my desires, dreams and heart aching joys. Rather, aligning my will with Divine will is truly about Trust. From this deep sense of trust I dream from alignment with my Authentic Self and Sovereign Power NOT from fear, lack or competition.
A deep trust that I am ALWAYS guided, loved, supported, held, and cared for.
A deep trust that I am divine, abundant, free, expansive, beautiful, love and light.
Because when I act from expectation, instead of true Divine, joyful, pleasurable service, I will be met with resistance.
When I release all expectations, all gripping, and remember who I really am which is irrelevant to that which is outside of me, everything comes. All arrives. I accept, I Surrender and I receive.
This is where power comes in. I’m almost at the gems of power in this blog. But I need to share a little more of my story. Because even when I reclaimed my purpose for incarnating on this earth for this lifetime and followed my heart, I STILL doubted, I still looked for external validation, I still wanted to please, I still was playing small and I did NOT know my own worth….
My last trip to Peru was in May of 2019. I found out I was pregnant. In the last 3 years since that time, I had 2 pregnancies and 2 home births, the second one was unassisted (story here if interested) and a healing on another level erupted. Taking care of babies and nurturing a relationship with my husband has been the most spiritually intense work I have ever done. Serious reflections of self, releasing child-hood trauma and paternal patterns all while moving 3 times and half way across the country.
So much damn faith, but deep slowing down. I had to communicate with my body in a whole new way. I wanted to be the main authority over my body and my birth. This was Sovereignty, on a whole new level, setting deep boundaries and learning to trust myself, my baby and God. I tapped into a connection with my womb, Mother Mary, Mary Magdalene and my ancient Egyptian mystery school teachings during this freebirth in September 2021.
I didn’t give myself the time to integrate this power, connection to my womb and sovereignty of self because three weeks postpartum, we moved, again. The rest of the winter I fell into deep suffering, darkness and depression. The sleep deprivation along with living in a small camper away from all family with a newborn and two-year-old was enough for us to all want to explode.
Two things kept me going through dark fucking times.
1. Serving. Truly serving from my souls highest desires. To be of service is the greatest fulfillment
2. My unwavering communication with the Divine.
My power was always there. Even though I felt myself slipping. I knew I would get out. I knew I would emerge and that this was just a season. And to release all shame, guilt and pressure to be anything else but what I needed to experience in that moment.
So, as I reflect, how did I seriously undue the chains of doubt, cravings for external validation, lack mentality, limitation and fear? It was a mix of pressure and purpose. The pressure of life and the reminder to look within and that I can absolutely trust my body and trust in my relationship with the Divine.
It was when I came to truly realize that everything I love can be stripped away and then what will be left…I am. My purpose and the root of my purpose is JOY, PLEASURE, BLISS, PEACE, CONNECTION, WHOLENESS.
So, I create without expectation. Without gripping. Because nothing is permanent, but everything returns. It’s quite the paradox. As is all of life. The more I let go and surrender (through true divine trust) the easier it is to receive. Our natural state is abundance!
So, my dear friends! What does this have to do with power! Everything.
When we take any action with expectation we drain our power. When we express in the world with a need for validation, we lose our power. When we restrict our unlimited self through fear or lack mentality, we lose our power.
You can feel when your power is being depleted because you become overwhelmed by taking too much action. You are shattered when things do not work out your way. You are disappointed when someone does not understand you. You take action based on what you think others will approve of only to feel empty and disconnected from self. Your fea being seen, but long to share your voice.
These are just a few examples. It can also be as simple as where my thoughts go, my energy goes. But extend this to your body. Where my heart, womb, solar, throat, root and mind frequencies go, so does my energy and therefore my power.
This is not a bad thing, my friends!! I personally want to put my heart, mind, womb and visions into my passions, into my family and into the beauty of nature. The difference is I am putting my power into places where I receive an abundance of life force energy back. Because I am energetically emanating from a place of alignment with my joy, with my source of power, with my sovereignty and with my bliss.
But when we act, express and emanate from a place of needing validation, from desperation, lack or fear, then this is the energy that will return and it will feel depleting because the source will never be from your infinite source point potential within you, your sovereignty.
Here is what I focus on daily to remain in my power…
1. How is my womb feeling (sacral chakra)?
2. How is my heart feeling?
3. What limiting thoughts are weaving through my mind?
These are the three main energies. I listen into my womb and I connect into my divine portal of creation and feel/ask, is there joy, pleasure, bliss, flow and receptivity? I feel if my womb feels electrified, wholesome, nourished and happy. If not, I adjust. I bring myself there, I accept pleasure as a reality, I accept joy. I release resistance.
I listen to my heart. “Divine heart, may I align my will with Divine will.” Guide me into deep fulfillment of self and service. What is most aligned for me in this moment? Action? Creation? Slowing down? Rest? Channel a download from Spirit? And so on.
Oh chatty mind. You are always so active. What illusions will you play out today? No, I am not that fear, no I am not disempowered, no I do not need to prove anything, yes I am worth the manifestation of my deepest desires, yes I am an amazing mother, yes I am learning, yes I don’t know everything, yes I am open to surrendering the ego, yes I will apologize, no that is not in alignment with my body and so on.
It is a constant calibration to my authentic self and a refusal to engage with the illusion. This doesn’t mean that illusion comes in “unnoticed,” but a daily commitment to truth, my power and my sovereignty is the fire that will always burn down the illusion. It is inevitable. I trust in my innate sense of power and divinity more than any illusion. This is where I always come back to my power.
So, I surrender to the ebb and flow of life and trust that I can never be lost. Because I am always home within. I collect my power back from that which is untruth and choose to engage with life from the source point potential within me, divinely connected to my joy, pleasure, desire, bliss and peace.
This is the journey of Sovereign Woman Activation. I was guided, quite abruptly, but beautifully to offer a 6-month container to support woman into their own sovereign power. To irreversibly awaken into this deep truth so that they could hold their light, no matter the ebb and flow of life and stay true to their purpose, service and therefore abundant fulfillment of all desires. If this journey is calling to you, you can click HERE
So much love and many blessings<3