"I trust, I Let Go"

I am writing this fresh from the February Full Moon! I feel spring is on its way, deep in my bones. Although nature looks utterly bleak, I can feel that mother earth is getting ready to show her radiance and beauty; just when the time is right.

The contrast of damp and dark versus vibrancy and light is very apparent to me at the moment. Both are necessary. I am reflecting about this in my own life. The past few months felt really dark, slow, and uninspired. Life has just felt very heavy and it has been difficult to catch a breath. But I feel an emergence and a resurfacing of the familiar joy and creativity that typically emanates from my being.

I am feeling called to take more care of health both physically and energetically. I am also needing to be grounded, in one place for a while. I realized that I have been in a constant heightened fearful and anxious state since my daughter Lila was born in early 2020. It was an unhealthy situation where we were living, at that time, and I was trying to cope with the intensity of my postpartum experience. Since then, we have moved 4 times while also being pregnant with our 2nd child. So much has transpired in the past 2 years and a lot of it was trying to find a place to live for our family, while needing to adapt to a whole new family system with each child and a whole new understanding of myself and my work.

Now that I am 5 months postpartum I feel that my nervous system has relaxed slightly so that I can think about the future and start to take care of my body. It has taken so much out of my physical body to have been pregnant and give birth to my daughters within 2 & ½ years.

I need a deep resest. Slowly, slowly, Nala is sleeping a little bit better. RJ has started working a little bit more and I have been able to spend a little more time thinking about my business and offerings and also tending to my body and spirit.

I feel excited about the beautiful weather to come, grateful that we have made it through our first winter in our camper! It will be such a joy seeing mother nature come to life while living in the woods on this little ridge. This land we live on, in Bloomington, Indiana constantly captivates me. The hidden lake nestled between two ridges. The steep slopes that each embrace the sun differently throughout the day. The movement of the fresh water along the small creeks and the glistening stones and geodes within these waters are so magical. I feel so abundant and grateful. It is truly a blessing to be here with my family. Lila and Nala are able to play and learn in nature.

I am reminded that the present moment is where life is really lived. I have been so stifled about my fears of the future and I am learning to “trust and let go.” So many beautiful things are dancing through me-to be brought into reality and as excited as I am about the what the future will bring I am also soaking up this moment here and now.

Many blessings to you all<3